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Weird Kid from Dr. K’s Statics Class Discovered to Have Shockingly Moderate Political Orientation

SOCORRO - Astounded by resident statics class weirdo’s political Facebook think piece, Sophomore Casey O’Conner exclaimed “his political orientation appears to be bizarrely centrist.” Multiple students from the 9:30 am class came forward to reporters last Monday to express their opinions about the befuddling Facebook post by Junior Joaquin Stevens that filled their feeds at approximately 7:20 pm on Sunday evening. “It was just a really well thought out commentary about the strengths and shortfalls of the Affordable Care Act,” said Casey. “I didn’t even know I was friends with him on Facebook. He always mumbles to himself in the back corner of statics, and I’m not so sure he’s bathed since the start of Obama’s last term.” Fellow student Jon Gilliam commented, “Last Friday he made an offhand comment to me about his weekend plans to rastle a black bear naked in Water Canyon. After viewing his post on Facebook on Sunday, I began to wonder if maybe he didn’t survive and someone else took over his Facebook. The political beliefs expressed in Sunday’s post were way too logically sound to be coming from the Joaquin I know.” Joaquin was unavailable for comment but was spotted charging through La Raj on Tuesday morning with an apparent homemade pirate flag, screaming “Vive la résistance!"

Up close image of student pleasantly surprised by the moderate views of their classmate.

Up close image of student pleasantly surprised by the moderate views of their classmate.

Supper of Champions, Goodbye Blue Friday